How many times has this happened to you:
You are on your way home from work, exhausted, and you don't feel like making anything to eat when you get home so you hit the local drive-thru. You pull away and as your sip your much needed diet Pepsi, the smell of your burger and fries, or your burrito and tacos, fills the air in your car. You imagine holding it with both hands, your eyes closed, bitting down through the many layers of flavor, warm grease running down your forearms. You hurry home, kick open the door, drop everything on the kitchen counter, rip the bag open and......THEY FORGOT SOMETHING! Burger, no fries; taco, no burrito! I can understand if they forgot ketchup or hot sauce, and even napkins...but how the hell do you forget the most important part of the order...the fucking food! Look people, I yelled into the fucking clown's nose when I placed my order, I gave someone my money in the first window who knew what I ordered, I am pretty sure that there is some kind of screen or monitor that has my order on it, so how hard is it to read the damn screen and put it in the bag! At least if they forgot the straw you can just take the lid off and drink it, but ever since my "No Straw Incident" of 2008, I have trained myself to check for the straw. Most places now will hand your drink and straw first while you are waiting for your food, or most of it anyway.
So many of you readers...or maybe just the one (thanks Mom), are thinking "dude, it is only a few fries, grab a bag of chips or just make yourself a sandwich". OK friends...how about this: You and the family are on your way home from the movies, dance class, soccer practice, or possibly Disneyland, and you order food for everyone. You get home and little Billy or Sally didn't get their chicken nuggets. Oh yeah, that's fun! "Everyone start eating your delicious, yummy, flavorful burgers while I heat up some Top Ramen for Sally." Or my favorite...the wife doesn't get her chinese chicken salad with no tomoatoes and balsamic vinaigrette dressing. They remembered the fucking dressing! And every man that has ever been married, engaged, dated, lived with, hung out with, or even talked to a girl, knows that a hungry girl is a cranky girl, and a hungry girl that doesn't get the food she ordered is a situation that cannot be solved.
Option 1, you go back...shes pissed, you're pissed, and you can't eat your food first, so now your dinner is cold.
Option 2, you give her your double burger with extra cheese, extra pickles, extra onions and whatever they hell else they found on the floor that night. Oh wait, she doesn't want the burger, and actually you don't want her to either because then you have to spend the next 5 nights listening to how fat she thinks she is because of one fucking burger! (My "she thinks she's fat blog" will be out soon)
Option 3, offer to make her something and prepare yourself to hear, "I don't want that! I wanted a salad, if I wanted that I would have ordered that!"
Option 4, cut off your arm, leg, or a testicle so that she can feed on it between her shouting and yelling, but take note, option 4 only works a couple of times.
So you are probably thinking that the easy solution is to just check the bag for all of the items ordered before you pull away from the window. Sounds simple, sounds easy, right? I'm sorry, but does Carl Karcher pay me to be his Quality Control person? Does Ronald Fucking McDonald cut me a check every time some pimple faced kid or sharpie eyebrowed girl screws up my order and I find their mistakes? DO YOUR FUCKING JOB! Little Billy wants nuggets so PUT THE NUGGETS IN THE BAG! And next time you are in line at the drive-thru, do you want to be behind the guy that goes through every bag and hands little Billy his nuggets with BBQ sauce, and then little Sally her cheeseburger with ketchup and extra pickles only, and hands the wife her salad which she then opens to make sure that the lettuce is fresh, and then tastes all four drinks to make sure that there is a Pepsi, a diet Pepsi, a rootbeer and a Dr. Pepper? Or would you prefer to be that guy?
That's the kind of shit that pisses me off!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Women Sports Reporters
The big story in the sports world recently is the incident with the New York Jets and TV Azteca reporter, Ines Sainz. The story claims that she was sexually harassed while at the Jets' practice and while conducting interviews both on the field and in the locker room.
Let's start with the football facts:
1. While she was on the field during practice, quarterback Marc Sanchez threw several passes in the area of the field located in front of Miss Sainz.
2. While she was in the locker room, players were making "suggestive comments".
Facts about Ines Sainz:
1. Voted the sexiest sports reporter in the world.
2. Has provocative pictures of herself on her own website and all over the Internet.
3. Wears "painted on" pants and low cut shirts while on the field.
Ok, so that sounds like they were having a little fun like you see in every high school football movie where the player who has a crush on the hot cheerleader and has the quarterback throw the ball close to her so the player can impress her. Sexual harassment? Ummm, I don't think so.
The interesting part in all of this is that SHE never complained! In an interview on the Today Show, she stated (in her exact words), "I don't hear anything that is in a sexual way. I'm not the one who try to charge or involve the team." It turns our that another female reporter heard the comments and saw the actions on the field and decided to speak up for her. She also stated that she never felt attacked or offended, she did not listen to the players, and that she does not pay attention to what they say. She did say that "the environment is very rude." Ummmm no shit! You are in a men's locker room! Big, sweaty, athletic men go their to shower and get dressed. Have you ever heard of the term "locker room talk"? It doesn't mean let's talk about my new tennis shoes or how my rash cleared up. It means that guys get together and talk about women and sex, and will explain in graphic details about the hot chick he took home from the bar the night before. It got it's name because a men's locker room is sacred and anything can be said there. Now throw a hot news reporter in their that may hold her microphone a little too close to her mouth and you think nothing is going to be said? You think that 50 pro athletes are just gonna sit their quietly with their hands folded on their laps waiting for the chance to comment on her Christian Louboutin shoes or her Michael Kors handbag? I dont think so!
Now don't get me wrong. I don't think that women should be treated with disrespect or rudely, but putting a very attractive news reporter with a sexy accent into a locker room full of football players is like throwing a box of Krispy Kremes into a Jenny Craig meeting and saying, "No Touch"! Someone is gonna say, "I sure would like to lick the icing off of that and just nibble on it for three straight hours." Is that offensive for the other donuts? Is the chocolate sprinkled donut going to speak up and say that the jelly-filled was offended? Is that because no one likes the chocolate sprinkled and maybe that donut was a little jealous that no one wanted to eat it? What exactly does the OTHER female news reporter look like?
Ines Sainz is a very attractive person and I am sure she has been whistled at a time or two. But if you google her name, you will see hundreds of pictures of her in sexy clothing. She states that her Internet pictures do not affect her professionalism and that she wears comfortable and attractive clothing, not provocative. Ummm yeah, ok Ines. If you ask any woman to describe something comfortable to wear, 80% will probably say sweats, 15% a dress, and the crazy remaining 5% will say nothing. No one will say skin tight white pants and a bra that pushes my breasts up to my neck. Even on the Today Show she wore a short, tight gray skirt and a black shirt with the buttons opened up to her bra clasp! (I paused it) The cameraman was only filming a far, full body shot and a closeup shot that did not reveal the opening in her shirt. From the full stage wide shot which included Meredith you can clearly see a large portion popping out. If you are fighting a sexual harassment fight, it might be a good idea to wear a turtle neck!
Ladies, if you do not want to treated like piece of meat, do not put yourself in situations that can lead to that. Take the women out of the locker rooms, or I am going to start interviewing female beach volleyball players in their locker room!
That's the kind of shit that pisses me off!
Let's start with the football facts:
1. While she was on the field during practice, quarterback Marc Sanchez threw several passes in the area of the field located in front of Miss Sainz.
2. While she was in the locker room, players were making "suggestive comments".
Facts about Ines Sainz:
1. Voted the sexiest sports reporter in the world.
2. Has provocative pictures of herself on her own website and all over the Internet.
3. Wears "painted on" pants and low cut shirts while on the field.
Ok, so that sounds like they were having a little fun like you see in every high school football movie where the player who has a crush on the hot cheerleader and has the quarterback throw the ball close to her so the player can impress her. Sexual harassment? Ummm, I don't think so.
The interesting part in all of this is that SHE never complained! In an interview on the Today Show, she stated (in her exact words), "I don't hear anything that is in a sexual way. I'm not the one who try to charge or involve the team." It turns our that another female reporter heard the comments and saw the actions on the field and decided to speak up for her. She also stated that she never felt attacked or offended, she did not listen to the players, and that she does not pay attention to what they say. She did say that "the environment is very rude." Ummmm no shit! You are in a men's locker room! Big, sweaty, athletic men go their to shower and get dressed. Have you ever heard of the term "locker room talk"? It doesn't mean let's talk about my new tennis shoes or how my rash cleared up. It means that guys get together and talk about women and sex, and will explain in graphic details about the hot chick he took home from the bar the night before. It got it's name because a men's locker room is sacred and anything can be said there. Now throw a hot news reporter in their that may hold her microphone a little too close to her mouth and you think nothing is going to be said? You think that 50 pro athletes are just gonna sit their quietly with their hands folded on their laps waiting for the chance to comment on her Christian Louboutin shoes or her Michael Kors handbag? I dont think so!
Now don't get me wrong. I don't think that women should be treated with disrespect or rudely, but putting a very attractive news reporter with a sexy accent into a locker room full of football players is like throwing a box of Krispy Kremes into a Jenny Craig meeting and saying, "No Touch"! Someone is gonna say, "I sure would like to lick the icing off of that and just nibble on it for three straight hours." Is that offensive for the other donuts? Is the chocolate sprinkled donut going to speak up and say that the jelly-filled was offended? Is that because no one likes the chocolate sprinkled and maybe that donut was a little jealous that no one wanted to eat it? What exactly does the OTHER female news reporter look like?
Ines Sainz is a very attractive person and I am sure she has been whistled at a time or two. But if you google her name, you will see hundreds of pictures of her in sexy clothing. She states that her Internet pictures do not affect her professionalism and that she wears comfortable and attractive clothing, not provocative. Ummm yeah, ok Ines. If you ask any woman to describe something comfortable to wear, 80% will probably say sweats, 15% a dress, and the crazy remaining 5% will say nothing. No one will say skin tight white pants and a bra that pushes my breasts up to my neck. Even on the Today Show she wore a short, tight gray skirt and a black shirt with the buttons opened up to her bra clasp! (I paused it) The cameraman was only filming a far, full body shot and a closeup shot that did not reveal the opening in her shirt. From the full stage wide shot which included Meredith you can clearly see a large portion popping out. If you are fighting a sexual harassment fight, it might be a good idea to wear a turtle neck!
Ladies, if you do not want to treated like piece of meat, do not put yourself in situations that can lead to that. Take the women out of the locker rooms, or I am going to start interviewing female beach volleyball players in their locker room!
That's the kind of shit that pisses me off!
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